I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Never underestimate the power of titties
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
