you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
