So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
