he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
