the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
