There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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