can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
