He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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