I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
