Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
