I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
