I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize