its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it glows. i had to have it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize