We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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