hotel room ftw
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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