From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There's always time for handjobs
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
