were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
