Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
