It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
