from now on my penis is your penis
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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