Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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