she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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