Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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