Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
