id be glad to
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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