Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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