Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
