Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
