I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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