This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
