Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
