Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
