Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
