i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
