Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
