if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
