I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
