Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The best revenge is premature balding
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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