he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
