Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
false alarm, still single
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
