this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
