he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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