I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
