she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
