Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
