Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
