see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize