I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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