Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
