Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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