she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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