I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
