True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
