But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
bring money and cleavage
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
