well you can't waste a boner
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
