i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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