Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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