i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
