This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
