He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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