You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
PANTIES FOUND
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
