Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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