Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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