Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
