It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When are your genitals available?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
