We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
