I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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