Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
